Sunday 2 February 2014

Frozen.

Finally, I've watched the movie 'Frozen' till 2am in the morning. And I have to say, it's a very beautiful story and I cried. No doubt. Anna is super lucky to have someone to go the extra mile for her to save her. That's very sweet. And don't get me started on the relationship between Elsa and Anna. Every single siblings would be dying for that.

Now, moving on. After watching the movie, I feel that it's been long since I was last cared by someone. Like someone who would make you happy and be there for you when you're feeling down. I sometimes visit the Ask.fm website. And most of the answers there, well, I can't answer it. I don't know why. I feel like my answer would be "attention-seeking" or "pathetic" in any ways. Those questions like "What do you want in life?" I mean like, all I want is happiness. But that's never going to happen. And I can't even describe my feelings right now. I'm not even sure of how I'm feeling right now. I can't differentiate between happiness and sadness. Love and hatred. I feel so numb to feelings right now. I don't even talk to anyone anymore. My phone could be buried 1000 ft. below the ground and when I dig it back up, no new messages or whatsapp will appear. I'm just kinda lonely, you know?  Whenever I'm mad. I have no where to vent. Most to most, I'll vent my feelings into the 'notes' on my phone and delete it hours later when I felt better.  Same goes when I'm feeling sad or happy. My phone's filled with my "mini diary entries" which some will be deleted hours later. No wonder my phone's memory usage is slowly being used up. I can't even rant on this blog fully. I have to watch what I say. But what I'm trying to say is - My heart is long frozen. That's why I can't feel anything.

I can't even describe my feelings anymore.