So I made a collage of my sister and I for
International Siblings Day and posted it to my IG to show how cute we were back
then and how we still are up till now (aasdfghjkl kidding).
As I made comparisons between the 2 pictures, I realized how much both of us have grown. The pictures on top were taken in the 90's and the one below, 2015. I'm 20 and you're 23. Time is passing by too fast, I may say.
You're already planning about moving on to the next phase in your life; marriage.
No matter how happy I am that Allah swt has found the right person for you (Insya'Allah), there are still parts of me that felt empty.
Whenever the talks about your engagement and marriage comes up, I always have these kind of thinking.
"You're not going to live with us after you're married."
"I'm not going to come home after a
long day at school and see you using your laptop in the living room."
"I'm not going to hear anymore random
"meows" from you."
"I won't be able to wait outside of
the house while you kept locking and unlocking the front door repeatedly before
being scolded by Mama cause you won't open the door and let me in."
"I won't get to lie down on your
thighs anymore in car rides."
"I won't get to fight with you about
what time we should keep the air-con timer on until."
"I won't get to hear anymore nagging
from you if I were to do anything wrong."
"I won't get to hug and annoy you
right before you sleep."
"You're not going to throw all my
pillows on the floor just so you can wake me up."
So on and so forth. Simple to say, my life will be different. VERY different.
You were my first ever best friend. My best friend since birth. We would always talk about the things that happened when we were kids. All the foolish things we did together. How you kept climbing in and out of the trolley while I was in it and it toppled over. How you were so "mak nenek" and always scold me with your hands cupped at your waist.
But during my "puberty"(secondary) school days, we weren't so close as we are now. We fought and bickered a lot and rarely talk about personal problems. But as we grew up to be young adults, I finally start to understand you more. Why you nagged and scolded me for my actions (even tho I kept doing it repeatedly).
You are always the first person I find to rant about a long tiring day at school or about friendship problems or anything. We always have this "inner siblings joke" thing where I can just laugh and laugh for hours in the middle of the night till Papa had to come in and tell us to be quiet.
Sure you can be a pain in the ass sometimes but it's alright. That's what siblings do. They annoy you to a level you've never experienced before. But I'm just so thankful that you're my sister.
I still can't believe that I'm going to lose my best friend in a few years' time. Why did I say that? You'll have your own responsibilities, your own problems, your own priorities. Religion will be first, then your husband, then Mama and Papa and Nyai, then your in-laws, then your family (future) and who knows which rank I'll end up in. I won't get to talk to you like how we're talking now. I won't get to annoy you like how I annoy you now. I won't get to joke with you like how I do now. I'm just not prepared to lose my best friend.
You are my first ever true best friend, friend, enemy, sister.
I'm never good in expressing my thoughts and feelings verbally or physically but just know that I'm thankful that Allah swt has blessed me with a sibling like you and that I love you very much, Kak.
But don't worry, you and everyone else are forever in my prayers, everyday. I always pray for nothing but the best for the people I love. If it makes them happy, it's okay. If you're happy, I'm happy.
I'm going to cherish every moment I have left with you before you get married.
(p/s: I'm crying buckets while typing this post. *Loser by BigBang starts playing*)
