Something I face.

Short ugly doodle done by me.

So, you'll most probably know what the picture is about. Use your SBQ skills to infer. So, the only reason for me to create this blog was to rant about my life. I still wonder why I drew myself in my school uniform... that's so weird. Okay, moving on. Today's topic would be about being last in everything.

So I had a conversation with Syarif and he said something which states the truth about myself.

Conversation
Syarif: Ya, I nobody what.
Me: If you're nobody, then what am I?
Syarif: You're (nobody) square.

So it actually meant [nobody x nobody]. Ouch, but I have to say it's true. I'm never anyone's option. Even if I were to be someone's option, I would definitely be last. I'm also THAT friend, THAT person who's always last in getting picked. Since my first day in nursery school till now. Even my nursery school teacher hated me. For what? That still remained as a mystery to me. School, family, I'm always last. Throughout my whole life, I'm either being left out or last. Okay, not really left out but you get the picture. It's kinda hard, yknow. I'm not sure if the problems lies within me or people just have better options than me. I mean, look at me. I'm not that great or good. There's surely someone better than me. That's why I'm always placed last. I think if I were to be stuck in burning building, I would most probably be saved last. I'm the least popular, I'm the least well-known. Actually, I don't care a single bit about popularity but I would sure like to be known for my kindness or friendly gestures done towards other. But I doubt so. Must be due to my annoying face.

Oh yeah, that's me and Syazzy.

So, today I had a "Ladies' Day Out" with the lovely cousins. We had a group picture but I look horrible in it therefore I shall not post it. So it all started from morning. Dad sent me to Northpoint cause I had to run some errands and then I travelled all the way to Somersat to meet up with my cousins. While waiting for the train, 2 pretty hijab girls caught my attention. Their fashion sense is so... wow. *.* And something hilarious happened when I reached Somersat. I had a conversation with this bimbotic cousin of mine in the picture above.

Conversation
She: Firah, where are you?
Me: Somersat. Why? Where are you?
She: I'm in front of the cinema. It's raining. Do you have an umbrella?
Me: Serious? Heavy rain? I don't have!
She: Okay, I pick you up at the opposite side of the HMV building.

Okay this moment I swear I didn't know that HMV had a building. Since when was HMV rich enough to have a building? And so I asked her.

Me: You mean HMV in Somersat 313?
Syazzy: *with full confidence* No! The building!

So I was too lazy to text after that. So I rang her up.

Me: Syazzy, H&M you mean?
Her: Oh ya, H&M. *uncontrollable laughter*

Okay, it may not sound funny to you readers but I swear I looked like a lunatic laughing all on my own in public. So..................... ya.

"THE INTERN" IS A MUST WATCH MOVIE! Google is like so awesome. The workplace environment of Google is like a wonderland for grown-ups with kiddy minds. Definitely worth my $$. 

AND PRAISES TO ALLAH SWT, I FINALLY GOT TO DINE AT 18CHEFS AFTER 3 YEARS OF NOT EATING THERE. It tasted like heaven. Creamy chicken sausage baked rice. *tears of joy* After lunch/dinner, we head to Scape's flee market and went window shopping for a while. No clothes interest me. I have yet to buy my birthday present (which was on 11 July) so I thought, "Why not I buy some clothes for myself?" So we, went to ZARA, Forever 21, Cotton On, H&M and Uniqlo just to find a nice set of clothing. And guess what? I bought nothing. All the clothes were either see-through, sleeveless or short. Sigh. So we just went home instead. I'm the type of person who sees what I like and buy it straight away without having any doubts. If I have a mindset of buying something, I'll head to the shop, buy it and then go home. No time wasted. But, I wouldn't mind accompanying someone for window shopping. However, I might whine a little after some time. Warning before asking me out for window shopping. Give me snacks to shut me up. hehe. I think my future-husband would be lucky to have me cause I don't really spend my money on clothes a lot. 

Whoops. Thinking too far into the future. But I have to say today was a well-spent day. Now, I'm just looking forward to having an outing with all my cousins from both Singapore and Malaysia. Long post isn't it? Now go sleep.

Who said you could only post once per day?

I am back! Well, it has only been a few hours. I just have so many things to rant about.

So, basically, I created this blog in the afternoon, earlier on. It took me hours just to find a very nice theme and template for this blog of mine. But things went haywire and I was like, "Y'know what? Eff it." Oh, and just for you to know (if there are any readers out there), I do not swear. True story. Hah. Moving on.

The reason I created this blog was to simply rant about my life. But then people would be like, "What about twitter?" Yeah. Psh. With that 140 word limit of theirs? I don't think so. (but I still love you, Twitter) *hugs and kisses* Bear with me cause this is going to be a very long blog post and also because tonight is one of those "depressed" nights. Not really depressed but I can't find a better word to use so... *shrugs*.

The topic I'm going to talk about today is low self esteem. Umm, it's not really low self esteem but it's just that feeling where by you feel useless, everyone's better than you and you're not worthy of anybody's time. Yes, that. Do not judge me. I'm human too, okay.

So, I've always been feeling rather down lately (everyday, to be exact. Heh.) No, it's not about relationships or whatsoever. Please eh, no. It's like, I look at the people around me and I feel so... little. Worthless. And I'm the kind whereby I don't seek attention on social networks and be all, "Eeeew, I'm so ugly" and then post a selfie of myself. No. I'm the type who keeps things to myself cause I do not want to burden people with my problems. And that, is actually the problem. Whenever people are feeling down, I help them get back up. But when I'm feeling down, people disappear. Must be because I rarely show my sadness off to people. Okay, let me give you a simple scenario, okay? This is what I'm witnessing everyday. THESE ARE ONLY EXAMPLES.

Scenario
Friend tweeted: Omg, I'm so sad. Why is this happening to me. Sigh, I'm feeling so sick etc, etc, etc.
Twitter friends reply(note on the 'S', plural): Oh dear, are you okay? / Stay strong my love! *hearts and kisses*/ Cheer up babe! We love you! / Get well soon, babygirlkishkishsayanqeubanyakbanyak!

Okay, the last part was a wee bit of exaggerating but you get the picture.

I tweeted: Oh Allah, this headache is killing me.
Twitter friends:...

Do you see the difference there? I'm not sure if I'm the only one facing this but you know how it feels. How others are treated way better than you despite of you trying your best to fit in and make people happy. How you're always the last resort for people's choices (Unless if it were to be someone to kill first, I would prolly be first in line). *exaggeration* Every time this happens, I feel like there's no need for me to have social networks cause people don't really seem to care about my life (except for my family, duh-uh) HAHAHAHA. People around me are more of curious rather than caring. I think. I don't know. And overall, in this whole situation, I think I'm the one with problems. Well, firstly, I'm annoying (even my friends told me so). I'm never reliable (I think that's the reason why people never come to me for anything). I don't open up to people cause whenever I tell someone something, they seem so... less-interested? Like those, "uhh, shut up woman. You're noisy and annoying." Yes, that. HA HA HA That's why I'm forever keeping everything to myself. Sigh, I guess this post is too long? Shall continue on a later time or date or whenever I feel like it. Psht. Dayum, too anti-climax.

p/s: It would really be a great honour to be complimented and praised upon my efforts.

Welcome back.

Too cute.

So, I'm welcoming myself back to blogging. The last time I actually blogged was 3-4 years back? Worst memory ever. The way I typed back then was filled with acronyms and 'minah' vocabulary. Such major embarrassment. *super ultimate facepalm* It's a good thing I deleted it asap. Can you ever imagine if someone actually read that blog? I'll probably be judged. Society nowadays. HAHAHAHA I'm taking my 'O' level examination this year so posts will be up occasionally. 

So please, bear with me. I have a boring life... well, it's not boring but at the same time it's not lively either. So we'll just see what happens. So let's head on for an adventure with me soon. :)