Who said you could only post once per day?

I am back! Well, it has only been a few hours. I just have so many things to rant about.

So, basically, I created this blog in the afternoon, earlier on. It took me hours just to find a very nice theme and template for this blog of mine. But things went haywire and I was like, "Y'know what? Eff it." Oh, and just for you to know (if there are any readers out there), I do not swear. True story. Hah. Moving on.

The reason I created this blog was to simply rant about my life. But then people would be like, "What about twitter?" Yeah. Psh. With that 140 word limit of theirs? I don't think so. (but I still love you, Twitter) *hugs and kisses* Bear with me cause this is going to be a very long blog post and also because tonight is one of those "depressed" nights. Not really depressed but I can't find a better word to use so... *shrugs*.

The topic I'm going to talk about today is low self esteem. Umm, it's not really low self esteem but it's just that feeling where by you feel useless, everyone's better than you and you're not worthy of anybody's time. Yes, that. Do not judge me. I'm human too, okay.

So, I've always been feeling rather down lately (everyday, to be exact. Heh.) No, it's not about relationships or whatsoever. Please eh, no. It's like, I look at the people around me and I feel so... little. Worthless. And I'm the kind whereby I don't seek attention on social networks and be all, "Eeeew, I'm so ugly" and then post a selfie of myself. No. I'm the type who keeps things to myself cause I do not want to burden people with my problems. And that, is actually the problem. Whenever people are feeling down, I help them get back up. But when I'm feeling down, people disappear. Must be because I rarely show my sadness off to people. Okay, let me give you a simple scenario, okay? This is what I'm witnessing everyday. THESE ARE ONLY EXAMPLES.

Scenario
Friend tweeted: Omg, I'm so sad. Why is this happening to me. Sigh, I'm feeling so sick etc, etc, etc.
Twitter friends reply(note on the 'S', plural): Oh dear, are you okay? / Stay strong my love! *hearts and kisses*/ Cheer up babe! We love you! / Get well soon, babygirlkishkishsayanqeubanyakbanyak!

Okay, the last part was a wee bit of exaggerating but you get the picture.

I tweeted: Oh Allah, this headache is killing me.
Twitter friends:...

Do you see the difference there? I'm not sure if I'm the only one facing this but you know how it feels. How others are treated way better than you despite of you trying your best to fit in and make people happy. How you're always the last resort for people's choices (Unless if it were to be someone to kill first, I would prolly be first in line). *exaggeration* Every time this happens, I feel like there's no need for me to have social networks cause people don't really seem to care about my life (except for my family, duh-uh) HAHAHAHA. People around me are more of curious rather than caring. I think. I don't know. And overall, in this whole situation, I think I'm the one with problems. Well, firstly, I'm annoying (even my friends told me so). I'm never reliable (I think that's the reason why people never come to me for anything). I don't open up to people cause whenever I tell someone something, they seem so... less-interested? Like those, "uhh, shut up woman. You're noisy and annoying." Yes, that. HA HA HA That's why I'm forever keeping everything to myself. Sigh, I guess this post is too long? Shall continue on a later time or date or whenever I feel like it. Psht. Dayum, too anti-climax.

p/s: It would really be a great honour to be complimented and praised upon my efforts.